Come on ol' mate...

Image by: greenweddingshoes.com

Do you have a fiance that wants to help plan your big day? Or is he more.."Oh babe, you will plan the most beautiful day"?

While watching Home and Away last night... (yes... Home and Away! I think I secretly enjoy that show)... They were discussing how one of the characters fiancés isn't helping at all. His idea was that he wanted for her to have the most perfect day and the only way she would have that, is if she planned the entire thing her self... Her thoughts were quite the opposite! 

We have stumbled across some tips to help with this... ps. Don't forget the simple rule - Men are from Mars and women are from Venus! 


Coping with an Apathetic Fiance

Don’t take it personally—If your fiance seems uninterested in you, that is a problem. But if your fiance merely seems uninterested in the details of the wedding, don’t worry too much. Some people simply aren’t wired to be as excited or opinionated about aesthetics, tradition, or ceremony. Your fiance isn’t trying to hurt you—he or she may just feel overwhelmed by the process.

Keep perspective—Weddings are beautiful things: a public expression of the love shared between you and your fiance. But weddings are also temporary in nature. Don’t let the chaos of planning a wedding distract you from what is most important: planning a life together.

Communicate—Help your partner understand why the wedding details matter to you. Give your fiance grace to not feel as passionately about the actual wedding as you do. But let him or her know that you still need their emotional (and sometimes logistical) support.

Assign tasks—Sit down with your fiance and a list of wedding responsibilities. Then ask your fiance what tasks he or she would like to tackle. Men are often most comfortable helping out in the areas of food and music/entertainment.

Prioritise your need for input—Few men truly care about the color of the napkins, flowers, or bridesmaids’ dresses. Don’t demand input from your fiance on every single detail. If you really need input from him/her, try narrowing down the options first. Then present him/her with a couple of choices. Just be prepared to live with your fiance’s decision. No one likes to be asked his/her opinion and promptly have that opinion dismissed.

Find external support—While your fiance may not think wedding planning is fun, plenty of other people are usually happy to lend a hand. Reach out to your friends, family, and bridal party for support.

Hire a good wedding coordinator—The wedding coordinator is often the first thing people cut from their budget. But a coordinator can take a huge weight off both you and your fiance. You are a lot less likely to become a bridezilla (or groomzilla) if a professional is there to crack the whip for you.

Have date nights—As the wedding approaches, it can be difficult to focus on anything else. Be sure to make room for date nights. Commit to not discussing wedding details during that time. Your fiance probably needs a breather from wedding talk; you probably do too.

Focus on the positive—There is a silver lining for having a fiance who doesn’t enjoy wedding planning: sole creative control. You may think you want your fiance to be more involved in the decision-making. But what if he or she starts giving you input you don’t like? If you have strong opinions about the wedding, having a relatively un-opinionated fiance isn’t necessarily the worst thing.

Your fiance may not care as much as you about the details of your wedding. But so long as he or she truly cares about you, you will be fine. Remember the main objective is not a perfect wedding, but a strong, loving, and lasting marriage.

Awww.. are we all loved up now?

Kassi x

Dear Lover...

Love notes....

Does anyone's spouse still leave love letters? Ones hid away for that romantic surprise? Special valentines days, with letters of clues to presents and gifts. Leaving for work before the other one is awake or coming home before the other has even finished work for the day. Long trips away or even just long lunches?

Gosh.. back 10 years ago, Adrian and I used to leave letters everywhere. I even had a box made just for his letters. (love sick huh?) Now, I can say there is definitely the romantic text every now and then but maybe we need to bring back the good 'Paper & Pen'.

On a Facebook page I follow called 'The Main Wedding Events', they had a fabulous idea for the recycling of your love letters... Of course take photo copies of them, the originals are so much better for you to keep. The idea of 'spreading the love'. The below photos have a love letter as the aisle runner... a little more unique then the typical carpet colours.

Or even if you are super creative, you can fold your letters in such a way that they mimic flowers and you can hold them close to you as your bouquet.

This weeks blog has been kept short and sweet as we would love your opinions on love letters...

Yes, still done today? Or nope, I wish?

Cambodian style

Imagine this… back packs on, joggers, three layers of mozzy spray, nervous, first time travellers and ALOT of pink layered satin.

Yep, that was myself, my step mother, sister and cousin last week - white faced and being gawked at for walking straight through the middle of a traditional Cambodian/Khmer wedding. Mind you - it was in an alley way where cars and pedestrians usually travel through. And because it wasn't too awkward the first time (yeah right), we decided that the only way to get back to our hotel was to walk through it again. (Idiots huh?) At least, the second time through, we were pretty much guests by then. Welcomed, smiled at and at least waved to.

About 20 metres away from the reception was the cooking area, where they served and prepared the meals. Lets just say it was a vacant block that hadn't been mowed for a while, mostly dirt and rock with possibly a few stray animals. It had a good ol' marquee, some pots, a gas cooker and a guy with no shirt, no shoes and a smoke hanging out the side of this mouth… *Can you picture it?* It got me thinking about how different weddings are here in Australia. There isn't anything wrong with a good pig on the spit in a back yard, but this wedding took the DIY and family favours to another level.

Later on that week we met with Kusal, a villager from one of the nearby towns. We just had to ask him if he was married? Does he have kids? You know, the stuff that would make most stranger think... WHAT THE HECK are these chicks on? Weddings there last for over a week. They celebrate every day. All in their wedding attire. The bride and groom can change up to 10 times in one day - (this is when being a dress maker in Cambodia would be beneficial.) Kusal began to tell us about his traditions and how 'choosing' your life partner isn't as easy as just falling in love with someone.

70% of marriages in Cambodia are still arranged by their parents or by family members. And other 30% you wonder? Well, they have that shot at marrying their 'love', but not without jumping through a few hoops first. You're whisked off to see a fortune teller and date analyst (they have a fancy name for them in Khmer, but for the life of me I can't think of it… anyways…) you give the 'date analyst' your birthdays, where you are from etc etc etc. If your numbers do not 'match' and they can see divorce, troubles, poor wealth, then you are forced to move on. Shocking huh? Imagine, you've met the love of your life, you take them home to meet the parents and family, set a date, get all excited... then... POOF… no wedding for you lady! My face pretty much said how I was feeling. Poor Kusal nearly choked me with shock.

I know in our society not all families agree on the one you have chosen to marry and every relationship has its 'rocky' moments… but if your dates didn't align, would that be enough for you to leave?

Until next time.
Ah-koon (Thank you)

Kassi 

When everyday gets in the way...

What a week! As you all know, our baby - our very first issue of Isaac Weddings - has now been sent out to the masses with a great deal of excitement, delirious panic and exhilaration! It was a challenge, to say the least, the day it was released. One team member (the very lucky Kassi) was still winging her way home from an amazing trip to Cambodia, Adrian was delivering magazines as fast as was humanly possible (and still not quick enough for some of our likers!) and I was working a full day at my “other” job and trying to man the many emails, private messages, magazine requests and comments on our Facebook page during my lunch break!

Let's just say, I did bang my head on the desk at one stage during the day!

Planning a wedding, especially these days, can feel just as overwhelming. In amongst all the excitement, there is a sense of being pulled in every direction, so many people to please, decisions to make, team members/bridal parties to co-ordinate with, appointments to keep. And on top of all that, possibly a full time job and maybe a family as well.

I have to say, I really believe it was much easier to get married in our grandparents day. I think there were less choices available to them and family dynamics were different. These days there are blended families, and couples who choose to have children before they are married, couples who are both working full time and maintaining a family routine at the same time.

So, how do you plan a wedding and juggle your everyday commitments at the same time?

To be honest, I really don't know if I have ALL the answers, but I have a few!

                                  1.  Choose your maids and men carefully. Seriously, I think this is so
                                       very important. Yes, they are your nearest and dearest, that's why you
                                       choose them, but I have heard many a horror story of bridal party
                                       members not helping out in any way, being demanding and generally
                                       creating more stress in the planning process. So choose wisely, you
                                       need to have at least one friend who you can completely rely upon
                                       to help you through the overwhelming, busy times.

2. Make a list. Of course you are going to make lists, you'll make hundreds of them in the months preceding your wedding. But this one is your master list; your absolute must haves, your biggest wants or desires for your day. It may be your photographer, your venue, your dress or your cars; everyone has different elements of the day that are important to them. Once that list is compiled, set to work to make those dreams a reality first.

3. Make another list. I know, you think I'm crazy, but just stick with me. This list is the list of things that don't really matter. They are not going to make or break your day. You want them, but really you could do without them if time or money was tight. It's the “keep it simple stupid” and “don't sweat the small stuff” rationale. You are still going to get married even if the candles on the tables are cream rather than white, right?

           If you break your list into two, it all seems a little less overwhelming and
           you can focus on the elements of your day that REALLY matter.

4. Call in favours and accept all offers. If someone offers to help, don't be too proud to say yes. I know that can be hard, especially if you are somewhat of a control freak (Time for another confession from me, total control freak here!) and want everything done exactly the right way. But these offers of help should be gratefully accepted, even if only for the second list. (See, it's all making sense now right?!) And believe me, you could be pleasantly surprised. My church flowers ( on my second list) were created without me even seeing them until after I was married, and they were spectacular to say the least.   

5. Rely on the internet. It's running 24/7, after work hours and after the kids have gone to bed. It's the best tool available to us for planning a wedding. There are so many fabulous sites, services and businesses all dedicated to planning your wedding and the beauty of them is you can email them any time you like, at 1am in the morning, when you've had a nightmare about your dress splitting open as you walk up the aisle and you're sitting there consuming the kid's leftover easter eggs to calm yourself. That's the time you email your dressmaker and ask whether it's possible to convert the zip in your gown to lace up! Don't expect a response until the following day though!

Hope this helps! Happy planning. Mel x