Come on ol' mate...

Image by: greenweddingshoes.com

Do you have a fiance that wants to help plan your big day? Or is he more.."Oh babe, you will plan the most beautiful day"?

While watching Home and Away last night... (yes... Home and Away! I think I secretly enjoy that show)... They were discussing how one of the characters fiancés isn't helping at all. His idea was that he wanted for her to have the most perfect day and the only way she would have that, is if she planned the entire thing her self... Her thoughts were quite the opposite! 

We have stumbled across some tips to help with this... ps. Don't forget the simple rule - Men are from Mars and women are from Venus! 


Coping with an Apathetic Fiance

Don’t take it personally—If your fiance seems uninterested in you, that is a problem. But if your fiance merely seems uninterested in the details of the wedding, don’t worry too much. Some people simply aren’t wired to be as excited or opinionated about aesthetics, tradition, or ceremony. Your fiance isn’t trying to hurt you—he or she may just feel overwhelmed by the process.

Keep perspective—Weddings are beautiful things: a public expression of the love shared between you and your fiance. But weddings are also temporary in nature. Don’t let the chaos of planning a wedding distract you from what is most important: planning a life together.

Communicate—Help your partner understand why the wedding details matter to you. Give your fiance grace to not feel as passionately about the actual wedding as you do. But let him or her know that you still need their emotional (and sometimes logistical) support.

Assign tasks—Sit down with your fiance and a list of wedding responsibilities. Then ask your fiance what tasks he or she would like to tackle. Men are often most comfortable helping out in the areas of food and music/entertainment.

Prioritise your need for input—Few men truly care about the color of the napkins, flowers, or bridesmaids’ dresses. Don’t demand input from your fiance on every single detail. If you really need input from him/her, try narrowing down the options first. Then present him/her with a couple of choices. Just be prepared to live with your fiance’s decision. No one likes to be asked his/her opinion and promptly have that opinion dismissed.

Find external support—While your fiance may not think wedding planning is fun, plenty of other people are usually happy to lend a hand. Reach out to your friends, family, and bridal party for support.

Hire a good wedding coordinator—The wedding coordinator is often the first thing people cut from their budget. But a coordinator can take a huge weight off both you and your fiance. You are a lot less likely to become a bridezilla (or groomzilla) if a professional is there to crack the whip for you.

Have date nights—As the wedding approaches, it can be difficult to focus on anything else. Be sure to make room for date nights. Commit to not discussing wedding details during that time. Your fiance probably needs a breather from wedding talk; you probably do too.

Focus on the positive—There is a silver lining for having a fiance who doesn’t enjoy wedding planning: sole creative control. You may think you want your fiance to be more involved in the decision-making. But what if he or she starts giving you input you don’t like? If you have strong opinions about the wedding, having a relatively un-opinionated fiance isn’t necessarily the worst thing.

Your fiance may not care as much as you about the details of your wedding. But so long as he or she truly cares about you, you will be fine. Remember the main objective is not a perfect wedding, but a strong, loving, and lasting marriage.

Awww.. are we all loved up now?

Kassi x

Dear Lover...

Love notes....

Does anyone's spouse still leave love letters? Ones hid away for that romantic surprise? Special valentines days, with letters of clues to presents and gifts. Leaving for work before the other one is awake or coming home before the other has even finished work for the day. Long trips away or even just long lunches?

Gosh.. back 10 years ago, Adrian and I used to leave letters everywhere. I even had a box made just for his letters. (love sick huh?) Now, I can say there is definitely the romantic text every now and then but maybe we need to bring back the good 'Paper & Pen'.

On a Facebook page I follow called 'The Main Wedding Events', they had a fabulous idea for the recycling of your love letters... Of course take photo copies of them, the originals are so much better for you to keep. The idea of 'spreading the love'. The below photos have a love letter as the aisle runner... a little more unique then the typical carpet colours.

Or even if you are super creative, you can fold your letters in such a way that they mimic flowers and you can hold them close to you as your bouquet.

This weeks blog has been kept short and sweet as we would love your opinions on love letters...

Yes, still done today? Or nope, I wish?

Cambodian style

Imagine this… back packs on, joggers, three layers of mozzy spray, nervous, first time travellers and ALOT of pink layered satin.

Yep, that was myself, my step mother, sister and cousin last week - white faced and being gawked at for walking straight through the middle of a traditional Cambodian/Khmer wedding. Mind you - it was in an alley way where cars and pedestrians usually travel through. And because it wasn't too awkward the first time (yeah right), we decided that the only way to get back to our hotel was to walk through it again. (Idiots huh?) At least, the second time through, we were pretty much guests by then. Welcomed, smiled at and at least waved to.

About 20 metres away from the reception was the cooking area, where they served and prepared the meals. Lets just say it was a vacant block that hadn't been mowed for a while, mostly dirt and rock with possibly a few stray animals. It had a good ol' marquee, some pots, a gas cooker and a guy with no shirt, no shoes and a smoke hanging out the side of this mouth… *Can you picture it?* It got me thinking about how different weddings are here in Australia. There isn't anything wrong with a good pig on the spit in a back yard, but this wedding took the DIY and family favours to another level.

Later on that week we met with Kusal, a villager from one of the nearby towns. We just had to ask him if he was married? Does he have kids? You know, the stuff that would make most stranger think... WHAT THE HECK are these chicks on? Weddings there last for over a week. They celebrate every day. All in their wedding attire. The bride and groom can change up to 10 times in one day - (this is when being a dress maker in Cambodia would be beneficial.) Kusal began to tell us about his traditions and how 'choosing' your life partner isn't as easy as just falling in love with someone.

70% of marriages in Cambodia are still arranged by their parents or by family members. And other 30% you wonder? Well, they have that shot at marrying their 'love', but not without jumping through a few hoops first. You're whisked off to see a fortune teller and date analyst (they have a fancy name for them in Khmer, but for the life of me I can't think of it… anyways…) you give the 'date analyst' your birthdays, where you are from etc etc etc. If your numbers do not 'match' and they can see divorce, troubles, poor wealth, then you are forced to move on. Shocking huh? Imagine, you've met the love of your life, you take them home to meet the parents and family, set a date, get all excited... then... POOF… no wedding for you lady! My face pretty much said how I was feeling. Poor Kusal nearly choked me with shock.

I know in our society not all families agree on the one you have chosen to marry and every relationship has its 'rocky' moments… but if your dates didn't align, would that be enough for you to leave?

Until next time.
Ah-koon (Thank you)

Kassi 

When everyday gets in the way...

What a week! As you all know, our baby - our very first issue of Isaac Weddings - has now been sent out to the masses with a great deal of excitement, delirious panic and exhilaration! It was a challenge, to say the least, the day it was released. One team member (the very lucky Kassi) was still winging her way home from an amazing trip to Cambodia, Adrian was delivering magazines as fast as was humanly possible (and still not quick enough for some of our likers!) and I was working a full day at my “other” job and trying to man the many emails, private messages, magazine requests and comments on our Facebook page during my lunch break!

Let's just say, I did bang my head on the desk at one stage during the day!

Planning a wedding, especially these days, can feel just as overwhelming. In amongst all the excitement, there is a sense of being pulled in every direction, so many people to please, decisions to make, team members/bridal parties to co-ordinate with, appointments to keep. And on top of all that, possibly a full time job and maybe a family as well.

I have to say, I really believe it was much easier to get married in our grandparents day. I think there were less choices available to them and family dynamics were different. These days there are blended families, and couples who choose to have children before they are married, couples who are both working full time and maintaining a family routine at the same time.

So, how do you plan a wedding and juggle your everyday commitments at the same time?

To be honest, I really don't know if I have ALL the answers, but I have a few!

                                  1.  Choose your maids and men carefully. Seriously, I think this is so
                                       very important. Yes, they are your nearest and dearest, that's why you
                                       choose them, but I have heard many a horror story of bridal party
                                       members not helping out in any way, being demanding and generally
                                       creating more stress in the planning process. So choose wisely, you
                                       need to have at least one friend who you can completely rely upon
                                       to help you through the overwhelming, busy times.

2. Make a list. Of course you are going to make lists, you'll make hundreds of them in the months preceding your wedding. But this one is your master list; your absolute must haves, your biggest wants or desires for your day. It may be your photographer, your venue, your dress or your cars; everyone has different elements of the day that are important to them. Once that list is compiled, set to work to make those dreams a reality first.

3. Make another list. I know, you think I'm crazy, but just stick with me. This list is the list of things that don't really matter. They are not going to make or break your day. You want them, but really you could do without them if time or money was tight. It's the “keep it simple stupid” and “don't sweat the small stuff” rationale. You are still going to get married even if the candles on the tables are cream rather than white, right?

           If you break your list into two, it all seems a little less overwhelming and
           you can focus on the elements of your day that REALLY matter.

4. Call in favours and accept all offers. If someone offers to help, don't be too proud to say yes. I know that can be hard, especially if you are somewhat of a control freak (Time for another confession from me, total control freak here!) and want everything done exactly the right way. But these offers of help should be gratefully accepted, even if only for the second list. (See, it's all making sense now right?!) And believe me, you could be pleasantly surprised. My church flowers ( on my second list) were created without me even seeing them until after I was married, and they were spectacular to say the least.   

5. Rely on the internet. It's running 24/7, after work hours and after the kids have gone to bed. It's the best tool available to us for planning a wedding. There are so many fabulous sites, services and businesses all dedicated to planning your wedding and the beauty of them is you can email them any time you like, at 1am in the morning, when you've had a nightmare about your dress splitting open as you walk up the aisle and you're sitting there consuming the kid's leftover easter eggs to calm yourself. That's the time you email your dressmaker and ask whether it's possible to convert the zip in your gown to lace up! Don't expect a response until the following day though!

Hope this helps! Happy planning. Mel x

Good morning guests...

I just have to start by saying..... far out, it's Friday again! I'm sure we can all have a love/hate relationship with time. We want the time to fly between occasions or from engagements to the big day. On the other hand, we tend to freak out about 'not having enough time'. Put your hand up if that's you? I have both hands in the air!

So we heard about swords, puffy sleeves from our very own DIY bride Mel last week - yes a whole 7 days ago! It's crazy how fast the trends, styles, and fashions can change in such little time. Although Mel may disagree that 16 years is 'short'!
My husband and I have been together for 11 years this year and married for the past three of those... FLIES... SIMPLY FLIES! Three years isn't that long ago, but gosh I wish I knew more about the true value of a great photographer, or those special times of asking your bridal party to be a part of your big day.

My question is, has the order of your wedding day changed along with the changes of decades?

We probably weren't the smartest in regards to holiday/honeymoon time after the wedding. Being the work-a-holic couple that we are, we thought a quick little three day escape to the Sunshine Coast would be great! But how do you squeeze in a wedding on the Saturday and still be able to slip away for a sneaky long weekend? We could only think of one answer... a breakfast wedding!

With a 9am ceremony and the reception venue within walking distance, our guests were able to head straight there and enjoy a beautiful array of breakfast canapés. Bloody Mary oyster shots were the pick of the day. Gourmet omelettes, a choice of salmon dishes, fruits, mini bacon and egg rolls for the children... My mind has gone blank after that! Divine! Our guests raved and left being able to fill the rest of their weekend with their own plans!
We had our immediate family meet us at a local Italian pizzeria for a light lunch, gelato and opening of presents. It made the day so special to us having a little extra 'one on one time' with the people who helped us the most.

Food for thought huh? Don't be afraid to step out side of the box... Your venue may love you for it and your guests will enjoy a wedding with a difference.

Until next week,
Ciao!

Kassi :)

Well, hello there. It's me again. It's been AGES...

As you know, the team at Isaac let their baby take its first fledgling steps away from the nest. It came home again this week, and we checked its feathers thoroughly from head to toe, oohed and aahed over its beautiful colours and sent it on its merry way again. 

So, now we have a little time on our hands... just a little. Just enough for Kassi and I to talk about weddings. What? You have free time and you talk about weddings? I hear you exclaim. Well, this one was different. This one was mine. 

When you get into a conversation about weddings, (pretty easy to do so, considering our job) inevitably the talk turns to, “when I got married....” And so it was when Kass and I celebrated the fledgling leaving the nest. After we clinked our glasses of iced water together, (I know, total party animals right?) I exhumed my wedding photo album from the depths of the bookcase and shared it, somewhat nervously, with Kassi.

You see, it was sixteen years ago since I walked down the aisle to the sounds of a Gregorian choir and Sissel, the Norwegian pop/opera singer. Oh my god, I hear you gasp, what the hell? No really, it was GREAT. I loved that music. I have absolutely no idea what the choir or Sissel were actually singing about, but it sounded AWESOME. 

Weddings have changed a LOT in the past sixteen years. Kass and I both giggled at the puffy, pirate sleeved shirts the boys wore beneath their vests, and the large sword my new husband insisted was required as a prop for some of the photos. I cringed at my round cheeks, and in some photos, my rather voluptuous bust threatening to burst forth from the neckline of my gown. I did my own hair, with the aid of my bridesmaids, and it wasn't even on both sides, a fact that still bothers me today! But... admittedly, I am a perfectionist and I can reassure myself that I'm the only one who noticed. Also, my makeup wasn't as beautifully natural as wedding makeup is today, I was perhaps a little heavy handed in my application. The girls earrings, which I made, (Did I mention I was a DIY bride?) kind of looked like bunches of grapes hanging from their ears...

You will do it too, don't think you won't. You'll look at your wedding photos in sixteen years time and you will laugh, and like me, you might even cringe. With the benefit of hindsight and the comparison with today's wedding fashions, there are definitely things I would change... but there are also plenty I wouldn't.

To this day, I still love: 

My flowers.

Our wedding cake.

Our wedding car – A car I absolutely loved and a surprise organised by my bridesmaids.

Our wedding singer – A grey bearded man in a battered cowboy hat, with a guitar. Awesome.

The photo of my husband-to-be seeing me for the first time.

Photos of family members and friends no longer with us.

A photo of my three bridesmaids throwing their heads back in delirious laughter.

My husband's speech and gift to me of a lawnmower. (That's a story for another day)    

And... my husband.

No matter what else I would change or  do differently on that day, I got THAT part right. The husband part. And at the end of the day, that's all that really matters, right?

Mel x

Please see our updated puzzle pieces ;)

When the baby leaves the nest...

Well this is it.... surely... this is what it feels like for a mother who's child has just left the 'nest'?

Our first little baby, our first edition of our magazine, has left our own nest today! That feeling of overwhelming joy, nervousness, sweaty palms... you know, all that jazz?

Just like a baby, we have conceived it, developed it, brought it into the world, nourished it and gave it tender loving care. 

Not everything is smiles and giggles, we had teething issues, sleepless nights, early mornings... Im just hoping the poop doesn't come with it too! 

But when 'our baby' left the office this morning, I looked at it... stopped... and thought... all I want is for 'you' to succeed little baby of ours.

That pressure that sits inside of yourself, when you are purely determined not to let a single person down... that is what drives you to succeed. 

With every edition of the magazine, I'm sure we will learn something along the way. I cant even count on my fingers and toes the amount of lessons we have learnt just in the past few months. 

But this is it... This is our first edition... At print... Alone tonight in the big printing warehouse, with no family to protect it when it gets dark or when there is a possum in the roof... but 

"dear first edition, you will always be our baby and we will grow from you, learn from you and together we will meet some of the most amazing people along the way!"

Here's to us.... You, dear first edition - our team, and to all of you lovely readers!

As we get closer to the release date, we will display more and more pieces of the puzzle - we like to keep you guessing huh?

Kassi x

Budget Boundaries

I loathe budgets! I'm terrible in excel and any type of formula…I just don't like them! But lets face it, as much as we wish we didn't have them, most of us are living by them. They are essential to ensuring that we get what we want in life. We all scrimp and save to buy a car, to pay a mortgage, to go on a holiday, to pay our electricity bill! It's endless...

Next thing, your spunk of a boyfriend puts a ring on your finger, and your mind is instantly swimming with childhood fantasies about the perfect day and you're picturing yourself in Disney Princess movies. You head to the closest news agency straight away, and purchase every wedding, hair & make up and flower magazine on the shelf and Sha-zam!!! You are rocket launched into wedding world. Trust me, you aren't here living on earth! You are a martian in a daze, wanting everything and anything pretty that you see. Don’t worry, you aren't the only one out there!

Every waking conversation that you have (and for some really stressed brides, it may even be in their sleep) is about the big day! Needless to say the budget idea goes out the window and your fiancé is freaking out on the inside and rolling his eyes at any conversation that you have with him, which begins with what do you think about??? This need not be the case. In fact, if you follow through with not sticking to a budget, the lead up to your special day will be stressful and you will be attacking each other with your chopsticks over Friday night sushi. 

Set a budget with your good looking other half, (make it special with a nice home cooked dinner or head out to your favourite restaurant. It shouldn't be painful!) and allocate specific costs to the dress, venue, flowers, cake etc.  Get thrifty! Then follow my five tips on keeping yourself grounded here on earth and your fiancé still smiling by the time the big day rolls around! 

1. Crafting and DIY is in! It's not just for the Nanas anymore. There are some cools ideas out there. Get your girlfriends over and get creative {insert bubbles here, no girls night is complete without champagne}.

2. Beg, borrow and steal! Ok maybe not the stealing part, but begging and borrowing are socially acceptable (within reason) so if you can borrow anything from friends, whether it's  a car, a headpiece or any other item that's going to save you a few pennies then my advice is DO IT!

3. Delete the unnecessary stuff! Look at what you really need and what you could go without. For example, if your dress is long, do you really need the expensive Jimmy Choo's? I know you want them! But do you really need them?

4. Get realistic with your guest list! Do you need to invite the girl that you worked with two years ago and don't really have contact with anymore? Cut it down by having the people who have always been there (and made an effort) and those who you know will be there in your future. Don't end up with guest regret! 

5. There are some talented students out there who won't charge you the earth. Those studying the likes of graphic design, fashion and photography. If you hear of a good one, ask to see their folio of work, if you have the same vibe and you like what they do, then they may be a cheaper alternative to other vendors. Otherwise approach creative friends to help out where they can (but an important warning...never take advantage of a situation where a friend is involved, it's not worth it!).

When it's all said and done, in the end, you may have some pennies to put towards extra cocktails on your honeymoon with your HUSBAND! Because all in all, that's what it's all about right? The two of you and the next chapter. So relax and enjoy every little bit of it!

Happy honeymooning.

Tam  x

Designer . Foodie . Blogger

Little White Space

www.littlewhitespace.com.au

I'm a student…

My wife (Kassi) and I have been married for 3 years this year. Although we have been together going on 11 years now, I would have to say marriage does ‘change things’. (And chuck a couple kids in the mix... and WOW).

I've learnt a lot over the years.  How to cook and clean… although that all might be touch and go if I'm really honest (and man enough to admit it).  While I think that I’ve done a rocking job, really I've probably missed half of the dishes, not to mention the squashed blueberries and even worse  on the floor from the kids! In my defense, iFish was on. 

Aaah come on ladies, I can hear you sighing from here! iFish for me is my ‘home and away and the bold and the beautiful equivalent for you.’

Ok ok.. I'll get back to what I was saying now… I'm not a man of many words, but I do have some advice for my fellow ‘husbands to be’… watch this video!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpFD-kgQxnI

Good advice or what? Common sense really?

I do live by the motto of  ‘ A Happy wife is a happy life!’ but gents,  I wouldn’t change it for the world! I'm too old to be hitting the clubs and finding ‘the chick’… I would rather have my wife, kids and my boat (can't forget the boat).

Over and out

Adrian.

Of course I love your little Robert, Sarah, Abbey, Firefly and Angus, but...

Image from : creativecateringcompany.co.uk

It’s a topic that has long stressed brides. Yes the dress, seating arrangements and shoes tip you over the edge, but the tiny guests make for not so tiny decision for some brides and it generally is one that needs to be made right at the beginning. These days weddings are a production of sorts and it's becoming extremely common for couples to have an adult only wedding (no, not that kind...).  By the same token many couples opt for a small family affair, so for those who are sitting on fence of indecisiveness here are some little tips for planning your big day!

BE STRONG
Don’t let irritated guests (or family) change your mind. This can happen; children or no children? Its YOUR day, YOUR choices!

ALL OR NONE
Don’t pick your favorites, they aren’t candy and plus you’ll end up in hot water! (clearly your own children don’t count in this instance).

AGES
Really try and avoid seating the ‘older’ teenage kids with little ones; they don’t consider themselves free babysitters and they certainly won’t enjoy it, but mostly you will pay for it later! So try and spread the ages around, make the tweens feel old and the more mature feel young again!

BE CLEAR
Clarity can start from the save the dates, letting people know immediately that it’s no kids or better yet send out mini invitations addressed to the kids, this can let the parents get them excited about being such a grown up. Simple and clear ideas will allow guests to make prior arrangements or be organized and child ready.

KISS - Keep It Secret Stupid
N.O. Spells NO. You've made the decision, no little ones at the wedding, well done, so what next… how do you break the news to everyone? KISS- Keep It Secret Stupid, don’t go telling everyone you want to let loose and have a massive night, or the budget won’t allow  and definitely don’t share the secret about being a closet child hater! (I jest!) Parents will not take any reason well, so be simple and kind about it - "we as couple want to have an adult only evening , enjoy a few drinks to celebrate where everyone (parents included) can relax."

TIPS TO KEEP THE KIDS BUSY
If you decide you want kids there and your budget won’t allow for a nanny service, try setting up a space that is just for them: toys, movies, pillows etc (you might find yourself joining the party). Between family members, you could design a rotation to watch over them. Remember if you’re the bride people cannot say no! There are always fun ideas like setting up a cupcake station for the little guys to have some sugary fun!

Now at the risk of being quite a fence sitter on this topic I’ll be honest, as an unmarried mother I cannot question my daughter’s attendance if I were to marry, so I can disregard all advice I’ve just mentioned. But, as an event manager I’m quite relieved by clients who choose the no kids options, it’s a money, time and tears saver. So whatever decision you make, I’m sure it is the right one for you and your partners big day! Now you can move on to the FUN side of planning your day. 

Until next time.... 

Helena xxx